- Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
- If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
- A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
- Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
- Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
- A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
- Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
- Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Posted by Heather at 9:06 PM