Sunday, September 9, 2007

Chuck Noris

  • Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
  • If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  • A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  • Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
  • Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
  • A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
  • How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
  • Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  • When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
  • Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
  • There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
  • Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

2 comments:

Heather said...

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

April said...

I only wish that I had a good Chuck Norris joke to add. Unfortunately, I think that as with singing in the choir, my contribution to good humor is simply to appreciate it. :)