Friday, July 17, 2009

MASS Manifesto (a work in progress)

Manifesto of MASS (Male Allen Siblings and Spouses)

Are you male? Are you married to April, Crystal, or Heather? Are April, Crystal, and Heather your sisters? If so, you will be required to attend MASS on the First Friday of each month, beginning July, 2010.

Q: What is the purpose of MASS?
A: Ryan’s therapist says he needs more male bonding activities. Moreover, the impending move from NC will leave the first Friday (usual meeting time of the Mazda Sports Car Club of North Carolina) a big empty hole in Ryan’s life that must be filled with entirely male activities.

Q: Is there a female equivalent of MASS?
A: Of course. FUSS (Female Used-to-be-Allen Siblings and Spouses) meets the Second Friday of each month. MASS will assume child care duties. Ashley and Jamie are invited of course, even though Ashley is currently an Allen and Jamie* is, well, imaginary.

Q: Where is MASS?
A: Location will be determined by members on a rotating basis in order of seniority: (Ryan, Jake, Matt, Daniel, Eric.) Possible locations include: a member’s home, golf courses, eateries, remote locations suitable for blowing stuff up, and other semi-legal shenanigans.

Q: What sort of stuff do you do at MASS?
A: Activities are also determined by members on a rotating basis. Inspiration can be drawn from the following guidelines:

Stuff we like:
Shootin’ things
Movies/video games
Blowin’ stuff up
Things with motors
Breakin’ things
Fixin’ things
Feats of strength
Going fast
Sports (spectator or participatory)

Stuff we don’t like:
Supervision (although we do like Super-Vision. One activity may be kibitzing about our favorite super-powers.)
Fru-Fru Food
Going slow

Members may add to either list, subject to majority vote.

Q: Is attendance at MASS compulsory?
A: Yes. If you are not there, we’ll come and get you.

*Remember Jamie? According to Eric, she is 23 and studying broadcast journalism. Her family moved from New Hamsphire to Utah recently after most of family had come out to Utah to go to school. She came to USU because her older brother was going here. We have been dating for about 2 months now and it is getting kind of serious. I have got to meet her family when they were visiting a couple of weeks ago.


Heather said...

I am fully supportive of MASS but I think you can come up with your own child care and the ladies will each chick food and watch chick movies.

Ryan said...

That's what grandparents are for!

Jake and Crystal said...

I am fully supportive of MASS IF FUSS is also implemented. We could also implement SATC (Someone/Anyone Tends Children)on the third friday wherein someone/anyone tends the children so that the parents could have a date.